Post by Admin on Jul 21, 2009 16:11:10 GMT -5
I knew girls were crazy, but I didn't think they were this bad!
The other night at Red Lobster, a girl came in with her mom. We weren't flirting or anything, but completely out of the blue she says "My name is Lillian and i was wondering if you were available." So I give her my card and tell her to call me sometime.
After I got off work that night, she had called me 7 times! She left 4 voicemails, each of them were the same: "Hello this is Lillian. I was wondering if you would like to call me when you get the chance." So now I'm thinking she's creepy. But I call her, because if I don't, she would probably keep calling.
So I talk to her, and she's saying all the creepy stuff like "I can't stop thinking about your handshake." What the hell is that? And she wanted to hang out and get to know me. And I know that's a bad idea. But I was thinking, maybe she's never asked a guy out before, maybe she's just acting weird because she's nervous. So I try to give her the benefit of the doubt. I go over to her place. She lives with her parents, and they were asleep, so we had to be very quiet. I knew it was a bad idea to go there, but at that point I was just curious what her deal was. So I go there, still creeped out, but she was wearing this nice low-cut shirt. So I thought she couldn't be all bad.
We're sitting on her couch, and she turns on the radio. A Green Day song comes on. And she says something along the lines of "I try not to listen to that kind of music because Jesus doesn't like it." She then proceeds to tell me how she has Jesus in her heart, and that anyone who doesn't will burn in the lake of fire. So I'm thinking, great, she brought me over here to try to convert me.
Next thing I know, she shoves her tongue down my throat. It was gross! She doesn't know how to kiss at all! It's all tongue, and she's slobbering all over my face! Makes me miss your nice lips! When she finally gives me a chance to breathe, I tell her that it's late and that I should go.
Now up until this point, I just thought that maybe she was all weird because she was religious and sheltered, and probably has never had a boyfriend. Which explains the horrible kissing. But what she said right before I left made me realize that she really does have a mental problem. Keep in mind that no articles of clothing were removed, and no "special" parts were played with. As I'm leaving, she asks me, "do you think I could get pregnant from what we just did?" Yeah, she seriously asked me that.
So the next day, I knew that I needed to tell her something so that she'll leave me alone. She calls me twice while I'm getting ready for work. Twice while I'm at work. And after work, when I got home, I took a shower, and she called me 3 times while I was in the shower. So I finally call her back. I try explaining that I can't talk to her anymore, and she's asking me if I found someone else. So I make up some story about getting back together with my ex. Then she's asking me where my ex lives, if she works with me, creepy stalker questions like that. And she kept asking me, "when I was leaving Red Lobster, I saw a Hispanic woman with two boys by the bar. Is it her?" I tell her no. "Are you sure it's not her?" I tell her I don't even know who she's talking about. Then she says that if I can't date her because I don't have any money, it's okay, I don't need money. And she says if it's because I don't have time to hang out, we could still talk on the phone. So I tell her that my ex that I'm getting back with wouldn't like it if I talked to her anymore. Then she asks if I'm sure it's my ex, and not other ladies. And I'm thinking "what the hell difference does it make?" Also, she admitted that she's a virgin. She said "I hope I didn't give you the wrong idea the other night, I'm actually a virgin." Gee, I would never have guessed that. Then she said that if anything changes I could call her. I figure since she's religious, I'll use that angle, so I say "if it's in God's will for us to meet again, then we will." I hoped that would shut her up, but instead she told me that I should consider being saved so that I don't burn in the lake of fire. Finally I tell her I gotta go, and hang up. That was yesterday, and I haven't heard from her since. And I hope I never will.
The other night at Red Lobster, a girl came in with her mom. We weren't flirting or anything, but completely out of the blue she says "My name is Lillian and i was wondering if you were available." So I give her my card and tell her to call me sometime.
After I got off work that night, she had called me 7 times! She left 4 voicemails, each of them were the same: "Hello this is Lillian. I was wondering if you would like to call me when you get the chance." So now I'm thinking she's creepy. But I call her, because if I don't, she would probably keep calling.
So I talk to her, and she's saying all the creepy stuff like "I can't stop thinking about your handshake." What the hell is that? And she wanted to hang out and get to know me. And I know that's a bad idea. But I was thinking, maybe she's never asked a guy out before, maybe she's just acting weird because she's nervous. So I try to give her the benefit of the doubt. I go over to her place. She lives with her parents, and they were asleep, so we had to be very quiet. I knew it was a bad idea to go there, but at that point I was just curious what her deal was. So I go there, still creeped out, but she was wearing this nice low-cut shirt. So I thought she couldn't be all bad.
We're sitting on her couch, and she turns on the radio. A Green Day song comes on. And she says something along the lines of "I try not to listen to that kind of music because Jesus doesn't like it." She then proceeds to tell me how she has Jesus in her heart, and that anyone who doesn't will burn in the lake of fire. So I'm thinking, great, she brought me over here to try to convert me.
Next thing I know, she shoves her tongue down my throat. It was gross! She doesn't know how to kiss at all! It's all tongue, and she's slobbering all over my face! Makes me miss your nice lips! When she finally gives me a chance to breathe, I tell her that it's late and that I should go.
Now up until this point, I just thought that maybe she was all weird because she was religious and sheltered, and probably has never had a boyfriend. Which explains the horrible kissing. But what she said right before I left made me realize that she really does have a mental problem. Keep in mind that no articles of clothing were removed, and no "special" parts were played with. As I'm leaving, she asks me, "do you think I could get pregnant from what we just did?" Yeah, she seriously asked me that.
So the next day, I knew that I needed to tell her something so that she'll leave me alone. She calls me twice while I'm getting ready for work. Twice while I'm at work. And after work, when I got home, I took a shower, and she called me 3 times while I was in the shower. So I finally call her back. I try explaining that I can't talk to her anymore, and she's asking me if I found someone else. So I make up some story about getting back together with my ex. Then she's asking me where my ex lives, if she works with me, creepy stalker questions like that. And she kept asking me, "when I was leaving Red Lobster, I saw a Hispanic woman with two boys by the bar. Is it her?" I tell her no. "Are you sure it's not her?" I tell her I don't even know who she's talking about. Then she says that if I can't date her because I don't have any money, it's okay, I don't need money. And she says if it's because I don't have time to hang out, we could still talk on the phone. So I tell her that my ex that I'm getting back with wouldn't like it if I talked to her anymore. Then she asks if I'm sure it's my ex, and not other ladies. And I'm thinking "what the hell difference does it make?" Also, she admitted that she's a virgin. She said "I hope I didn't give you the wrong idea the other night, I'm actually a virgin." Gee, I would never have guessed that. Then she said that if anything changes I could call her. I figure since she's religious, I'll use that angle, so I say "if it's in God's will for us to meet again, then we will." I hoped that would shut her up, but instead she told me that I should consider being saved so that I don't burn in the lake of fire. Finally I tell her I gotta go, and hang up. That was yesterday, and I haven't heard from her since. And I hope I never will.
